Divorce with ultimatum from teenager who wants me to make this marriage work?

I have a dtr 22, sons 15 and 17. The 17 year old is telling me I won't see him or talk to him much if I follow through with a divorce from his father. This has been in the waiting for months and I am following through with it. my soon to be ex is fine and totally understands. My son said he also does not ever want me to be with anyone else. So my question is...is he just angry or does he honestly think I am abandoning my family? I feel like he is trying to manipulate me.Divorce with ultimatum from teenager who wants me to make this marriage work?
Of course he is manipulating you. You shouldn't allow your child to manipulate you and hold you hostage in this way. I know it would probably break your heart but I don't think he'd feel this way forever. Since your husband also agrees with the divorce, then perhaps you can ask him to talk to your son so that he understands that this amicable and mutual.





You still need to live your own life. People's parents divorce, just a nasty fact of life.Divorce with ultimatum from teenager who wants me to make this marriage work?
It depends on your reason for divorcing. If you're divorcing because you just don't get along with his father, then in his eyes, you're being completely selfish. Are you asking for custody? If not, again, he sees abandonment. Is your soon-to-be-ex abusive? If not, again...abandonment. If so, perhaps your son doesn't realize, or feels intense loyalty to his father.





You are making a decision that affects the whole family, but you're not giving him any input into the decision making process. At 17, he's nearly an adult, so this has to be an insult to his needs, in his eyes.





For whatever reason, he would benefit from some counseling to help him sort through his feelings.
He is trying to manipulate you as he s hurt,he afraid of the change this will make in all your lives,most kids are.


You can not allow him to dictate to you as it teach him this behavior is acceptable


I do think you should sit down try to calmly to talk to him or get his father too,it maybe even be better in letter form


lots and lots of reassurance to all your kids that there loved by both of you will help
Sounds to me like he knows the divorce is getting close to actually happening and is resorting to emotional blackmail to try and stop it.





I'm sure he is angry, but don't know enough to determine whether he believes you are abandoning the family. That you will have to discuss with him (only he knows if that is what he thinks).
It sounds like he is just really angry about the situation, and pretty immature as well. He will come around in time, meanwhile you can't let him manipulate you. Take control of the situation, you're the parent.
This is pure manipulation. Where is your husband in all this? Is he really going to allow your son to disrespect you this way? Is he not man enough to own up to his son that he is part of the reason the marriage is ending?
Most teems do try to manipulate their parents, if both you and your soon to ex are in agreement with this divorce then you need to sit down with him together and explain the situation to him, only what he needs to know.
He is hurting and will get over it in time, for time heals all. Let him be nothing you can do .he will see that it is for the best.
Tell him that he has no right to tell you that and you are sorry he feels that way, but you are not going to live your life miserable to suit his selfish needs.
Good god, imagine this your son would rather see some the family stick together than you with siome new stud service.





At least he's directing his anger at the right people.
your right .. he will grow up soon .. just let him be ok..
NO! they love their father and the family that you have made for them is that wrong?! Divorce is ugly and the world has shown that to your kids....the picking sides the betrayal of who loves who more....where they will stay when they have never had to choose.Don't get a divorce because obviously it will not only be dividing you and your husband it will be dividing the whole family. Is that what you want...love each other for who yous are rekindle something...for better or for worse and right now that its at its worse in your marriage you have to stand up to the challenge...you made those vows!!!! even though you only meant it for the better...i don't care what you had to put up with...that man also had to endure it too...so whatever it is both of you DON'T BE SELFISH!!! love is not a fight but worth fighting for!!!
You are abandoning your family, you're splitting up the two most important people in his life!